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  • Home
  • Fiction
  • About Randy
  • Rockbottom Quarantine Blog
  • always envy the dead
  • patreon
  • Contact Randy
  • My Silly Little Love Life
Randy the Storyteller

I make poor choices, but they take me to interesting places.

  • always envy the dead,  Non-Fiction

    A Night of Regrets

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    It’s late March on a Saturday night in the French Quarter, and my mask wraps crooked around my mouth like a thin slice of raw pork, soggy with my own spit and sweat. The results of screaming for the last two hours. One tour down, one more to go. My left pocket is stuffed with tips, but my jaw aches and my throat is killing me. Telling stories for hours straight night after night in the quarter is never easy, but man, if you want a challenge try doing it with fabric strapped over your talking hole. Especially when you have to shout loud enough to make yourself heard over…

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  • always envy the dead,  Non-Fiction,  Uncategorized

    My Disastrous Debut Tour; or How I Was Attacked and Humiliated by a Blowup Doll

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    My first tour I ever gave was on Halloween night. And in case you were wondering, that’s pretty much the worst day to ever pop your cherry as a ghost tour guide, as the quarter is just a madhouse of costumes, drunks, and agitators. You can probably picture it in your head right now. Even the most seasoned veteran guide has their troubles during Devil’s night, but if you’re a brand spanking new tour guide, it truly becomes a trial by fire.   What made my situation even worse was that in the days, weeks, and months leading up to then I had all the time in the world to do…

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  • always envy the dead,  Non-Fiction

    A Near Murder on a Ghost Tour!

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    So this all happens on a pub crawl tour, a haunted pub crawl tour, to be precise. This can be a great tour at times. And at other times, not so much. This is a story of a not-so-great time, where I am in charge of guiding a bachelor party of five to four different bars in two hours. Before the tour even starts I know this might be a challenge. I have no idea how stupid things are gonna get though.   Our first stop is relatively harmless. We enter this restaurant/bar on the corner of Bourbon and St Peter, and go upstairs to the 2nd floor bar to get…

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  • patreon,  Uncategorized

    Patreon!

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    I have started a patreon! Holy wow! How exciting! If you feel at all like you want to support my tireless journey to capture all the absurdity of life, please click on the link below and accept a thousand of my hugs! https://www.patreon.com/randythestoryteller I love you all dearly!

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  • always envy the dead,  Non-Fiction,  Uncategorized

    Protected: (Patreon)My Date with the Bitter Ex-Husband

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    There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

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  • always envy the dead,  Non-Fiction

    Protected: (Patreon) ELEVEN TIPS ON HOW TO BE A BETTER GUEST ON MY TOUR

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    There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

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  • always envy the dead,  Non-Fiction,  Uncategorized

    Protected: (Patreon) A (Bizarre) Tale of… EXTORTION!

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    There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

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