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The Time I Brought a Date to a Comedy Show and She Turned out to be a Heckler
This was quite a few years ago, back when I was pretty new to New Orleans and unsure of my path in the world. Back then, I was dabbling in stand up open mics and improv lessons because I couldn’t get enough of masturbation jokes or awkward imagined scenarios between two people that no one enjoys. Anyway, when I wasn’t doing any of that, I was going on really, really bad online dates. Good times. And it was during this time that I met a certain girl on OkCupid. Let’s call her Terri- because that was her actual name and she’s a terrible person and doesn’t deserve anonymity (jk, that’s…
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Lesbian Nuns at Broad Theater
It all starts with a text from my friend, Trent, who wants to know if I would be interested in attending a screening with him at The Broad in a few hours. This is a bit unusual because it’s a Wednesday and Trent’s a busy career boy during the week. But he explains that he has this dreadful sense that the Covid is about to act up again in a big way and wants to see as many movies in the theater before that happens (this is back in early December, when Omnicron is still only a whisper, something happening in far off countries across the oceans. Of course, that’s…
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The Audacity of the Pisser
When I tell people that one time, in the middle of a tour, a man in my group unzipped his fly and began to urniate right then and there, I usually get the same response: “That only happened one time?” And yeah, har har, I get it. All you have to do is take a stroll down Bourbon Street and let the wafts of urine-scented sidewalks invade your nostrils to know that public urination isn’t exactly a rarity in this weird world I work in. BUT… just to answer that question: yes, it only happened one time, thank you very much. Because even drunk tourists generally know it’s not okay…
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My Disastrous Debut Tour; or How I Was Attacked and Humiliated by a Blowup Doll
My first tour I ever gave was on Halloween night. And in case you were wondering, that’s pretty much the worst day to ever pop your cherry as a ghost tour guide, as the quarter is just a madhouse of costumes, drunks, and agitators. You can probably picture it in your head right now. Even the most seasoned veteran guide has their troubles during Devil’s night, but if you’re a brand spanking new tour guide, it truly becomes a trial by fire. What made my situation even worse was that in the days, weeks, and months leading up to then I had all the time in the world to do…
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Patreon!
I have started a patreon! Holy wow! How exciting! If you feel at all like you want to support my tireless journey to capture all the absurdity of life, please click on the link below and accept a thousand of my hugs! https://www.patreon.com/randythestoryteller I love you all dearly!
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Protected: (Patreon)My Date with the Bitter Ex-Husband
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Protected: (Patreon) A (Bizarre) Tale of… EXTORTION!
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